It is that time of the year again! The time we pour our hearts out in the making of our new year resolutions with a sprinkle of hope, a zest of cheerfulness and plenty of determination. Too bad that this list has exactly 92% chance to NEVER come to life according to recent studies ! Tragic? Yes. Avoidable? Absolutely. Here is my humble contribution to saving 2021 resolutions. You are welcome.
After going throughout a gazillion articles on the subject and a careful review of my own failed attempts at following through, it dawned on me that everyone dives straight into the content of these lists but rarely address the winning framework first. The most gorgeous house will crumble without a proper solid foundation. Similarly, how we can't expect our resolutions to survive if they don’t follow certain "sustainability" guidelines? Now, talking about structure is less glamorous than design but, yours truly, volunteered to do the dirty work for the common good. Introducing: Five Steps to save 2021 resolutions...
1. PAUSE & REFLECT
Before you grab your pen and get all wild writing your new year resolutions, I invite you to hit pause. Take time to simply reflect on the past year. What worked? What didn’t? Yes, the pandemic is a factor to take into consideration but how about the rest? Can you look at yourself in the mirror and confidently declare that you did everything in your power to hit your 2020 objectives without your voice going all squeaky? If yes, skip to the next paragraph. If not, let the spirit of Judge Judy inhabit you to objectively separate what did work from what didn’t. Evaluate your “Fail” list and get real with yourself about the why behind the failure. If fear was the reason then you should consider giving it another try in 2021. However, if it is lack of interest then just drop it because you just don't want it that bad. What you are doing through this exercise is getting crystal clear on your priorities and using that as a stepping-stone to build purposeful 2021 resolutions.
2. SET A GENERAL LIFE PHILOSOPHY
If you could put a theme to your life in 2021, what would that be? Are you about productivity? Minimalism? Life balance? or else. Take time to look at the common thread in your interests, thoughts and actions and find out your answer. Once our theme is set, it will be easier to filter which resolution you need to pursue and which to drop because it doesn’t really serve your ultimate big picture. Tiny daily actions add up and before you know it, you have a harmonious life that is aligned with your internal beliefs and desires because you consciously set the stage for it beforehand. Key word: beforehand.
3. DO NOT FOLLOW A STANDARD TEMPLATE
“My ultimate aspiration is to become like everyone else" said no one. Ever. People have more affinity towards the “I want to be special” version and a deeper desire is often simply “I want to be me”. So, why do we tend to brainlessly jot down the same classics: Lose weight, Sleep more, Work out regularly just like everyone else? While these classics are important, I wouldn’t put them on the list unless I am consciously pursuing each one of them. Not in a “nice-to have” kind of way but as “I gonna crush these” type of way. It is probably easier to copy paste what we are supposed to aim for but it is simply not sustainable. The reason is that some days you may wake up full of doubts about your plans and if you were shaky about any of your new year resolutions then these days will slowly yet surely put your aspirations to rest in the cemetery of “noble unrealized resolutions” So, take time to figure out what does your heart and soul really really want. That alone, will help with consistency later on because each item in that list was consciously put in there for the right reasons that you are crystal clear on.
4. 3-ITEM TO-DO LIST
We all made those endless new year resolutions lists. My personal record was in 2018 when I fearlessly jot down 50 resolutions in one go. At the end, I felt proud of myself, looked at the list twice, cheered happy new year and moved on with my life without looking at it ever again. Since then, I found the sweet spot, which is three items. Three is the magic number that got the approval of productivity gurus around the world. The reason is that it strikes the right balance between excitement and feasibility without overwhelm. Conquering the moon might be part of your plans but unless you are departing this year then don’t put it on the list. Now, you might have way more things on your mind for 2021 then by all means, dump them aaaall on a piece of paper. Then... Distill. Distill. Distill. Start looking for common threads. Are there iterations of the same? Are some of these frankly unrealistic? Be honest and ruthless. This process will help you laser focus your energy to move the needle on what truly matters to you. Working towards the execution of only 3 key items feels achievable and realistic which is crucial to survive the dreaded yet unavoidable periods of self-doubt. The happy bonus is that once you are set on your track to conquer each one of these 3 items, you will notice other good habits “organically bourgeoning“ to compliment your bigger efforts. Yay!
5. BE SPECIFIC
Don’t we all agree that: “Sleep 8 hours” is much better than “sleep better”? It is because our brains are more willing to work with us if we have a measurable target to move towards. Success is clearly defined which is more motivating at the anticipation of all those potential warm fuzzy feelings of pride and fulfillment keeps us going. Take time to come up with what that exact number is for you and bake it into your resolution. Whatever metric of success you choose, it should bring up feelings of great excitement and a bit of fear so you know that your target will require serious effort but it is still possible.
Here we go, you are all set to start crafting resolutions that stand a chance to see the light. So, what do you have in-store for 2021? ;)
